GranolaFag Weekly

I know I haven’t been posting much lately, but that doesn’t mean I have stopped caring. I’ve weathered some personal storms and now that things at GranolaFag HQ seem to be settling down I hope to get (back) into a regular posting habit.

Firstly, I haven’t stopped pursuing my drilling theory, which only seems to make more and more sense to me as time passes. I’ve been in contact with some professors at local universities and with the mainstream press, but they’re all apparently too afraid to touch this so it’s up to me to shoulder this burden. I should be used to the by now, anyway.

Secondly, during my hiatus America managed to finally get rid of George Bush and elect a long-overdue black man. I cannot begin to describe how happy this makes me. I once again have hope for our future.

So much of the environmental movement is made up of little people doing little things to make the world a better place that sometimes we can’t see the forest for the trees, so to speak. The big-name guys like Greenpeace, the ELF, and the JMMMO get a ton of good press (despite the corporate-controlled media’s hatred of them) but the little guy who works hard to make a difference often goes unnoticed. That’s why I’ve decided to periodically recognize “Everyday Heroes,” people that deserve recognition.

The first in this series is a guy from Texas who runs a site called marmay.net. He has done an excellent job of documenting his progress installing a hydrogen fuel cell in his personal automobile. The difference is he’s doing a “homemade” system that doesn’t cost thousands of dollars. He is very thorough and seems very smart. He isn’t deterred by the fact that “mainstream science” says what he is doing is impossible, he’s showing “mainstream science” that he knows better.

Thank you, guy from Texas. The world is a better place because of you.

I have an idea that I think could help save our planet.

As we all know, most global warming is caused by rednecks driving giant gas-hogging SUVs. You and I can drive as many sensible vehicles as we want, but it will barely make a dent in the damage these guys cause. I live in Louisiana, so I know a thing or two about rednecks. I know the one thing rednecks like more than giant trucks. Answer: Going fast.

So how do we convince these Neanderthals to give up their Hummers and drive something reasonable and green? We let them go fast. We should make it a law that SUVs have a universal speed limit of 50MPH while hybrids, scooters, Segways, and other eco-friendly vehicles are allowed to go as fast as they want on the Interstate.

I don’t want any money for my idea (although I should patent it) I just want recognition as the guy that saved billons of lives by fixing global warming.

Yesterday I posted about whether or not the consequences of the California wildfires had really be thought through. Could non-standard, non-industrial/corporate sources of warming be so easily overlooked? Could these be the “missing link” that could finally silence the climate change deniers?

Like I said, I’m not an “official” climate scientist (just a serious amateur) so I don’t have millions of dollars in lab equipment and balloons, but I am smart enough and I do have enough resources to notice that it has definitely been hotter lately.

Another idea I’ve been mulling around is the possibility that the mere act of drilling for oil is warming the planet. I know it seems silly at first, but when you really think about it starts to make sense:

1. We’re drilling holes hundreds of miles deep into the Earth’s crust. The crust is the part of the planet that shields us from the heat of the core and mantel. We’re basically putting holes in the insulation that prevents our planet from turning into a star.

2. We’re extracting the carbon-based oil that the dinosaurs put there billions of years ago. Carbon is toxic to humans and to our planet so what do we do with it? We put it in our cars and burn it so that it goes up into the atmosphere and back down into our lungs. GOOD PLAN, GENIUSES!

3. What is the number one indicator of global warming? Rising ocean temperatures. Where is the crust the thinnest? Under the oceans. Where do we drill most of our oil wells? Take a guess…

I guarantee you won’t ever hear a thing about this from the mainstream media. They’re all multinational corporations that care more about stock price than the environment. Luckily I’m not beholden to any special interests other than my cats.

…studying the contributions these California fires have to Global Warming? I’m not an “official” climate scientist, but last time I checked fire was hot.

Whose bright idea was it to have 2,000 of them all burning at the same time?

“Nobody planned it, those fires were all started by lightning.” you’ll tell me. Puh-leaze. Lightning started 2,000 separate fires that all just happened to be on Federal land managed by the Bush Administration?

Exactly how stupid do you think I am?