GranolaFag Weekly

I have an idea that I think could help save our planet.

As we all know, most global warming is caused by rednecks driving giant gas-hogging SUVs. You and I can drive as many sensible vehicles as we want, but it will barely make a dent in the damage these guys cause. I live in Louisiana, so I know a thing or two about rednecks. I know the one thing rednecks like more than giant trucks. Answer: Going fast.

So how do we convince these Neanderthals to give up their Hummers and drive something reasonable and green? We let them go fast. We should make it a law that SUVs have a universal speed limit of 50MPH while hybrids, scooters, Segways, and other eco-friendly vehicles are allowed to go as fast as they want on the Interstate.

I don’t want any money for my idea (although I should patent it) I just want recognition as the guy that saved billons of lives by fixing global warming.

Yesterday I posted about whether or not the consequences of the California wildfires had really be thought through. Could non-standard, non-industrial/corporate sources of warming be so easily overlooked? Could these be the “missing link” that could finally silence the climate change deniers?

Like I said, I’m not an “official” climate scientist (just a serious amateur) so I don’t have millions of dollars in lab equipment and balloons, but I am smart enough and I do have enough resources to notice that it has definitely been hotter lately.

Another idea I’ve been mulling around is the possibility that the mere act of drilling for oil is warming the planet. I know it seems silly at first, but when you really think about it starts to make sense:

1. We’re drilling holes hundreds of miles deep into the Earth’s crust. The crust is the part of the planet that shields us from the heat of the core and mantel. We’re basically putting holes in the insulation that prevents our planet from turning into a star.

2. We’re extracting the carbon-based oil that the dinosaurs put there billions of years ago. Carbon is toxic to humans and to our planet so what do we do with it? We put it in our cars and burn it so that it goes up into the atmosphere and back down into our lungs. GOOD PLAN, GENIUSES!

3. What is the number one indicator of global warming? Rising ocean temperatures. Where is the crust the thinnest? Under the oceans. Where do we drill most of our oil wells? Take a guess…

I guarantee you won’t ever hear a thing about this from the mainstream media. They’re all multinational corporations that care more about stock price than the environment. Luckily I’m not beholden to any special interests other than my cats.

I feel it’s finally time for me to speak out about the atrocities being committed in my home state.

I know this isn’t really a topic that this blog is geared towards, but it’s such an important issue that I can’t let it pass without comment.

It is despicable the way those boys have been treated. Every white person in this country (and I’m sad to say I’m one) should be absolutely sick and ashamed of themselves over this. I understand that a fund has been established for their college educations and if I have any money left over next paycheck I plan on contributing.

What makes people act like this? Like animals? Are white people not satisfied with owning everything, controlling all the jobs, and having all the good hair? Why must they thrust themselves into the lives of the disadvantaged, only to wreak havoc upon such innocents?

You can rest assured that in the future time will be divided into “before Jena” and “after Jena.” We ought to round up the prosecutor, judge, and all the police involved in this case and string ‘em up. Yes, I’m that upset!

Even worse is the mainstream corporate media hardly even mentions this story any more. It should be on the front page of every newspaper in every city for the next 100 years so we’re all reminded of the lengths people will go to in the trampling of other peoples’ rights.

Look at these faces, they’re the future of this nation and deserve to be treated as such…

From The L.A. Times

The Senate today approved a long-debated measure that would expand the federal hate crime law to cover violence against gays, and in an unusual gambit to make it difficult for President Bush to carry out his veto threat, attached it to a defense bill.

It’s about freakin’ time! How many of us would still be alive if this had been passed 10 years ago? It disgusts me.

I realize this isn’t really on-topic for GFW, but it’s something I feel strongly about (watch out for gay marriage news, too!) and something I feel is critically important to this country. For too long gay men and women have been victims to senseless, hateful violence at the hands of ignorant homophobes and rednecks.

Being a gay man in today’s US isn’t easy. If you survive the job discrimination, the constant harassment, the lack of political representation (until Hillary gets to be President!), the physical violence, and the outright persecution, you still face horrors of AIDS and the loneliness caused by the closure of all the decent gay clubs in this country. Not many people know what it’s like to live like that, especially the racist a-holes that make the laws.

The bill’s supporters said they hope the hate-crime legislation is included in a final defense bill. Sen. Edward M. Kennedy (D-Mass.), who has championed the legislation, noted that no president has ever vetoed a defense authorization bill. “We’re very hopeful that the president will sign it,” he said.

Ha! It’s so sweet that they attached a piece of good legislation to one of the President’s war-mongering bills. Try and veto that, George! You’d have to withdraw the troops from Iraq and Lord know we can’t have that! If Iraq was peaceful instead of overrun by your terrorizing hate troops I don’t know what we would do!</sarcasm>